The Outsized Role of Work: Choosing Career Over Connections
You know that moment when you realize your work laptop knows you better than your friends do? That was me. There I was, knee-deep in travel plans, drowning in email chains, and proudly crowned the queen of "I'll just check one more thing before bed." Spoiler alert: it was never just one more thing.
When Work Becomes Your Life Partner
For years, my job wasn’t just my top priority — it was my most committed relationship. Date nights? Cancelled for evening webinars. Weekend plans? Who needs brunch when there are PowerPoints to create? I feel as though friends were reluctant to invite me to things because they knew I'd respond with, "Sounds great! But I’m traveling that day." And honestly, I wasn't even that sorry about it because I was "crushing it" at work. Right? Right??
Turns out, the only thing I was crushing was my social life — and probably my adrenal glands.
The Subtle Art of Missing Out
It wasn’t a sudden epiphany that changed me. No celestial light beam or profound TED Talk moment. It was smaller: the kind of realization that creeps in when you’re scrolling through your calendar and notice a glaring absence of personal time. That year, I’d seen my parents (who live about 30 minutes away) a grand total of two times. Two. Not because I didn’t care, but because I let the wrong things dictate every hour of my schedule, convincing myself there would always be more time later.
That realization hit harder than an overcaffeinated Monday morning. Suddenly, I saw my "career focus" for what it was: an excuse to sideline the people I loved while hiding behind "busy" like it was a protective cloak. Sure, I was accomplishing plenty professionally, but at what cost?
From Prioritizing Work to Prioritizing What Matters
I realized something had to change. And not just in a "let-me-download-a-time-management-app" kind of way. Here’s what I’ve learned as I attempt to rejoin humanity:
Stop Acting Like Every Email Is a Bat Signal
Not everything is an emergency. Sure, your inbox might disagree, but it’s okay to let some things sit for a minute. If someone really needs you, they’ll call. (And if they don’t call, congrats! You’re probably off the hook.)The Power of the 'No, But Thanks!'
Practice this phrase with me: “No, but thanks!” Use it liberally. On extra projects, after-hours emails, and unnecessary meetings. Your calendar—and your sanity—will thank you.Rediscover Small Joys (Like Brunch)
Let me tell you, there’s nothing like a mimosa with friends to remind you why humans socialize. Now, I schedule brunches like they’re client meetings. Except these meetings have pancakes. Win-win.Schedule Guilt-Free Downtime
Remember: if you’re not investing time in yourself, you’re basically giving all your energy to your company. And guess what? They’ll survive if you take a break. Really. They will.
The Balancing Act
Let’s be clear: work still matters. I’m not suggesting we all throw our laptops into the ocean (though the visual is appealing). The goal isn’t to abandon ambition but to stop letting it consume every waking thought. We can be successful and present for the people and experiences that make life worth living.
What Really Counts
At the end of the day, nobody’s eulogy is going to read, “They always replied to emails within five minutes.” People will remember the moments you were there — really there — for them. I’m learning to build a life where work fits in, but doesn’t run the show. And honestly? My relationships (and my nervous system) are better for it.
So, here’s to recalibrating, reconnecting, and maybe even saying yes to that next party. Especially if there’s cake.